The deep-rooted relationship between psychiatrist Ivan and Marvin, a graphic designer by day and writer of queer fiction by night, is the beating heart of Sona G. Lutherová’s compassionate and gently watchable doc A Happy Man. Marvin, formerly R, came out as a transgender man in 2018 and officially applied for a gender change the following year. How this couple and their children deal with that journey is a story both compassionate and uplifting.
The couple, who have been together for more than 15 years, relocated to Sweden from the Czech Republic, where they settled and began to raise their family. As Marvin becomes more confident and comfortable with himself, Ivan remains supportive yet increasingly unsure how to navigate the changes in his partner. The film embeds in their routine of daily life – household chores, exercise, office work and playing games with their kids – and witnesses the intimate conversations between the couple as they reflect on how their lives have undergone existential change.
As Marvin comments early in the film: “I stopped worrying that I somehow had to meet or fulfil that feminine role, which I had, in fact, done my entire life. I am a ‘he’ to colleagues, clients, all of my friends, neighbours, their children. I have a passport. And now I’m simply Marvin,” clutching the passport with a smile.
Ivan in turn points out how he has been married to Marvin since 2007 and has observed the ongoing change in his appearance. “Different clothes, different hairstyle, and so on. So far, it’s good. To me, my relationship with Marvin is what really matters. We’re a good match and fit well. We enjoy being together. After all, a part of our relationship has always been about solving problems together – I try and be rational.”
There is a refreshingly matter-of-fact sense of how they deal with their life together, with their children both the leveller and the glue that helps bind them together. “The kids need support – it makes no difference if I’m mother or father,” says Marvin, while also worrying about how his parents are having issues coping with the situation.
After a mastectomy Marvin admits to feeling relieved, and he starts to get testosterone shots (“my bum hurts” he comments) he sets about simply carrying on as usual. At one point the film sees Marvin going out for beer while Ivan mends a fence and looks after the kids. Ivan mulls over that fact that Marvin has started snoring and is now having to shave.
Marvin observes how, when he talks with friends about how the transition is going, they expect the main problem has to be his relationship with Ivan. “And to an extent those expectations have influenced me negatively. Because now sometimes I expect it too….but I don’t think we have any bigger problems in our relationship than most of our friends or peers.”
Ivan in turn notes how their relationship is not just about this one thing. “We have kids, a house, work. Things evolve. We deal with stuff we couldn’t have imagined a couple of years ago.” Ivan is supportive yet unsure as to how to navigate these changes in his partner: “I don’t know what is expected of me. How should I feel?” Footage of photographs of their earlier time together are set alongside Marvin recalling how he found it hard as a child and young person, but the key things always seems to be the underlying strength of their relationship.
The film gives voice to Roe Horvat, Marvin’s nom de plume, as we hear snippets of his queer fiction, gaining an intimate insight into his deepening masculinity. As his Amazon biography states, “he came out as transgender in 2017 and has been fabulous since. He loves Jane Austen, Douglas Adams, bad action movies, stand-up comedy, and pale ale.” The joy of A Happy Man is reflected in the title. Marvin has been on a long journey to become that ‘happy man,’ with the steadfast support of partner Ivan along the way.
Slovakia/Czech Republic, 2023, 81mins
Dir/scr: Sona G. Lutherová
Production: Azyl Production, HBO MAX, Company F
Producers: Maros Hecko, Peter Veverka
Cinematography: Norbert Hudec
Editor: Peter Harum
Music: Matej Gyárfás
