In the French doc A Hawk as Big as a Horse, produced by Louis Beaudemont of Les Steppes Productions, we encounter the force of nature that is Sergei/Lydia, a cross-dressing ornithologist who is as haughty as he/she is stylish and beautiful…and rare.
Lydia (and from now that is how this article will refer to the main character) endeavours to create her own version of ‘Twin Peaks,’ renamed ‘Twin Peaks in Shcherbinka,’ on a small farm outside of Moscow, and further sets out to create a silicon replica of actress Lara Flynn Boyle, whose tragic destiny she wants to change in her version of David Lynch’s story. What’s more, Lydia is married to a woman (Vasilisa) who could be her own twin, a gentle horse-whisperer who radiates elfin calm.
In an extended sequence we encounter the Nezhulyas, imaginary mythical creatures that are formed out of, or live on, the elbows of Lydia’s acquaintances, and which must be lovingly indulged, stroked and kissed.
In essence, Lydia is fearless in making manifest her dreams, however oddball or incomprehensible. Nor does she care one iota about how her actions will be perceived or regarded by the world around her.
“Lydia has devoted her entire life to making her fantasies come true,” director Sasha Kulak noted during her 2021 pitch to Leipzig professionals. “She’s creating a new reality where she can bend the rules to fit herself and her surroundings, starting with her own gender transformation to now reconstructing David Lynch’s universe in her own home.”
“I offered her a deal.” Kulak later told BDE. “I will help you remake the film version of the ‘Twin Peaks’ universe that you always dreamed of, and in exchange I’ll have my movie. [But] the film process took up so much of time, and of myself, that I started questioning my intentions and why I was so involved in Lydia’s story. I realized that although we seem very different, Lydia and I share a similar streak, the desire to control our narrative and to create a fairy tale reality to escape to.”
A year on and Kulak reframes her response to my question as to what she believes to be the film’s essence. “Through working on this film and trying to understand who is Sergei/Lydia in their universe, it led me to the answer that it’s really impossible to understand anyone. Trying to understand someone is a wrong path [to take]. This is the essence of the film. I didn’t want to deliver any answers to viewers. I tried to make the film in a way I perceive this universe. Of course it’s through me and it’s already subjective because it’s my point of view but I try to leave the questions and the answers up to the viewers.”
In the film Kulak points out how she felt compelled to play the role of narrator, one that is “invisible” but nevertheless “omnipresent.” This decision came after a comment the director received as she was developing the project at Berlinale Talents Doc Station, about how there wasn’t an action or gesture performed by Lydia that was not in some way “provoked” by Kulak.
“I realized that this is maybe the moment when I need to stand up also and show myself in the film,” Sasha tells BDE. “The story is told through my character, but it talks about Lydia, her life and her fairy tale dreams.”
But Kulak’s role as narrator also performs the core function of pulling together the disparate threads of a story that contains ‘Twins Peaks,’ ornithology, silicon replica dolls and elbow-inspired Nezhulya love. “I needed to include me as a character and as a guide, because otherwise people were just lost in this strange universe,” she says.
The film was backed by the Sundance Institute and SCAM early in its career and will be broadcast on Arte (La Lucerne ) in 2023. Kulak and producer Louis Beaudemont have also created a book designed to “locate A Hawk as Big As A Horse in a different category than documentary,” in which people associated with the ‘Twin Peaks in Shcherbinka’ production reflect on all aspects of the experience, including dolls, elbow fetishism and Vasilisa. But the main focus of respondents is, of course, the enigma that is Lydia.
“In the end, if you read all the statements, all the notes, you still have the same answer – that it’s impossible to understand who this person is,” concludes Kulak.
